Below are the 15 most recent journal entries recorded in faithful64_04's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, September 13th, 2005
3:39 pm	new address My daughter has moved me to another blog place. I can have pictures and everything. I guess I am cool now......hahahahaha! www.aquirethefire64.blogdrive.com Current Mood: excited (Comment on this)
Saturday, August 27th, 2005
7:57 am	Kayla and Tinkerbell My sister was mad at me about 6 weeks ago. She had decided to not talk to me anymore. That has passed again. She let me have my neice Kayla spend the night and their dog tinkerbell. It was very nice to have them over. Kayla is going into the 1st grade. Her sister Rachel is going into kindergarten. They are so excited. We watched Peter Pan and a Winnie the Pooh movie. I love Winnie the Pooh! Kayla looks just like my oldest daughter. My oldest is in college so it is wierd to see my neice and my oldest and see how much she has grown up! Next week I hope to have Rachel spend the night and maybe Tinkerbell too. My two dogs were so excited to have her over. This morning Tinkerbell and my one dog were sleeping together in the chair.....awwwwww! I am at work and I need to get work done sooooooo............... Current Mood: happy (Comment on this)
Friday, August 26th, 2005
11:55 am	a good thursday Yesterday was a very good day. I was very busy because it was my day off and I try to fit everything I on one day. Anyway, my daughter was signed up for automotive services through the highschool but then didn't want to take it because the cost of tools was too much. Well, someone from church anomiously donated money for her to purchase the tools....almost $200.00. My exhusband has been very cordial to me the last week. It has been very nice! He even took my daughter to registration for highschool last night which saved me some time. Last Sunday there was a funeral in our town for solider that was killed during active duty. My daughter was very upset as was I that there were picketers across the street from the funeral home that said "God hates Fags". My daughter couldn't beleive that was how christians would respond. They were from Kansas, not from even around here. Anyway, my daughter wrote a letter to the town paper and it was published on how God loves all of us and that we are all sinners. One sin isn't worse than another....all sin. She did a great job of writing and sharing about God's love. We went to the nursing home too. That was really cool. The people are so happy to see you and spend time with them. About 8 kids form the youth group came. We stayed for a couple of hours. We played games with them and listened to there stories. Sometimes over and over because some are alzheimer patients :). They feel good when you just go and talk with them and listen to them. I had a full day. It was a very good day though. Today I am at work. Kind of hectic....one lady is still out because her husband had surgery so I am trying to do two peoples jobs. Makes my day go fast. Nothing too hard just lots of paperwork to do. I have to work tomorrow then dinner with my mom and then visit an old friend. We have been waiting six weeks till we both had a night free to hang out! When we were kids it seemed forever to wait a day to hang out. bye! Current Mood: cheerful (Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 17th, 2005
8:53 am	blessings in my life I was thinking about how blessed I am and wanted to write it down in my journal. 1. I have God at the center of my life. I mess up and I can always turn to Him for forgiveness. 2. giving up tv! my motto garbage in, garbage out...I don't like garbage 3. my children following God and making good choices 4. train station right by my house so I can get to work 5. patience that I never had before 6. seeing nature more clearly now and being in awe of it 7. nice apartment and I am able to have my puppies there with me 8. knowing God is in control and I dont' have to struggle to try to be in charge of everything 9. peace about ken and nancy and christian 10. water.....go with out clean water that is easily accessible will make you thankful 11. my friends who still love me even though I am different now 12. mens group from church that are always willing to help me move or help with the car. They are a great encouragemnet to me. 13. grandma darlene for all her support and help with the kids 14. church and the youth group I love being a part of the kids lives and helping them and encouraging them. 15. me and my mom are close now after a forever apart 16. thankful for the life I have and the things that God is teaching me and directing my path. Lots more blessings, everyday to wake up and be here is a blessing! Current Mood: thankful (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 11th, 2005
10:26 am	ex-husband My ex husband can still hurt me so bad. I hate that! he actually bought my youngest daughter clothes for school. He bought her 2 pairs of jeans and 4 shirts from Kohl's. This is unlike him. My daughter was very happy and he actually picked out good things for her. I call him to tell him thank you and he just blasts me. He would say "everything in everybody's eyes he does wrong". I thought I would let him know we appreciated what he had done for our youngest daughter. He makes me feel like garbage. He is so angry with me and I don't really understand why! He left, he has what he wants. We were the ones that had to pick up the pieces and move on with out him. Ahhhhhh....feels good to vent. Hopefully he will finds the happiness he is looking for......soon. Current Mood: frustrated (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 9th, 2005
1:52 pm	cabinleader I had an awesome week at our church camp in Door County. The weather was beautiful! We went swimming, hiking, played games, crafts, bible study..... It was all great! We got to swim at night. That was really cool. The water felt soooo good. The water is so clear there too. The sunsets were beautiful. You would see so many colors....orange, pink, green, blue...all gorgeous. I was a cabin leader of 7 teenage girls. There were at total of 68 campers. It was very fullfilling to be at camp. We had campfire everynight. Kids on the last night told how God has changed their lives and has given them strength. Also, kids were rededicating themselves to Christ. I gave me story to of how I was baptized when I was 16 but I pretty much viewed God as my saftey net. I didn't have a personal relationship with God on a daily basis and how that changed a few years ago. Everything at camp was great. I can't wait to go again. I have people in my life that disagree with the road my life has taken. I can't think of anything more fullfilling then giving my time to spend with the youth and be in such a beautiful place. Most importantly following the diretion God wants me to go. Current Mood: grateful (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, July 8th, 2005
1:19 pm	marriage I miss being married. I pray I will be blesssed to be married again. I pray about it and I believe I will be married again. I am trying to be content in my singleness. I know I wouldn't be able to do the things I do now like helping out so much with the youth group if I was married right now. So I know I am doing what is purposeful and I really enjoy it alot. I love being there for the kids and see how they are growing in their faith. I love how they open up and share their concerns for friends and family members. I love how they pray for each other too with such passion. It is awesome. I am glad that I can be used to encourage them and listen to them. It is great to see how my youngest is taking a leadership role in youth group. She shines with her love for God and wants to be useful to Him. I guess this really wasn't too much about marriage. I trust I will be married at some point in my life. I would love to have a companion to share things with. I miss being intimate too....very much! I read Marc's blog about going out with the hubby and having dinner and doing chores together all the married people stuff! I am very happy for my friend. She deserves to have the hubby she has. He loves her very much and she loves him too. I dream about my wedding day. Of course I am skinny and have long flowing hair.(HAHA) We are on the bluff in Door county, beautiful sunny day my hair blowing in the wind gently. The man I am marrying is a beautiful godly man who loves me very much. My children are there and our pastor....it is sunset and just gorgeous.......nice dream, huh? Current Mood: giggly (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 5th, 2005
10:27 am	hurtful words My sister has decided to disown me again. Really no good reason. I would never disown her. This is some cycle she is in. Every couple of months she disowns someone. Sometimes I think she is manic depressive. The hurtful thing is she says all these hateful things. Makes fun or rather degrades me because of my weight, says my husband had good reason for leaving me because I am psycho, I brain wash my children, and that I am very controlling. She even attacks my being a christian. It hurts deeply. I will forgive her if she asks ask me too because that is something I should do, but my heart will never be able to open up to her again or to trust her. She takes what I say and twists the words all around to suit her purpose. It is sad because I will miss her and my neices and nephew. Words should be used to encourage someone not to tear down and drag through the fire and stomp on them. Tht is how my heart feels now. Current Mood: sad (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 29th, 2005
4:51 pm	words I use to swear all the time. I remember my husband couldn't stand it but I liked to do it. Shock value or whatever. Since I have rededicated my life to God though, hearing those words are just....UGH! Every once in awhile I will say something and it just feels gross. I heard somebody say a few swear words and feels terrible. It may sound wierd but that is who I am now. Same with tv. I hardly ever watch it but when i do see it I can't believe how much it has gone down hill. No morals left. Everybody is exploited. How many reality tv shows can we have??? People are sitting at home watching someone elses life. None of it contributes to making our lives better. I would rather spend time reading or even better yet time with my kids. Bad words hurt even if they are not swear words. In the bible it says the tongue is like a sword. It can slice right through you. How many times have we said words in anger that we wish we could take back? You can apologize and forgive but the sting is still there. Words.......lets lift each other up with kind encouraging words. Current Mood: thankful (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 17th, 2005
3:00 pm	feelings...woa, woa, feelings.......... I am sad and happy at the smae time if that is possible. I am sad that my daughter is growing up so fast, but then I am very happy that she is learning to go out on her own. She has a job now and is going to be going to a really great Christain college soon. the money issues were taken care of. It cost $19,500 to go to the college for one year ( that is WAY more than half my income) she was awarded several grants totalling $17,456. What a big AMEN! She was going to go to a community college but a friend said to try this school even though it was so expensive. We did and prayed about it and just left it in God's hands and we know now this is where she should be. Life is so much easier not relying on my own desicions on what to do all the time. We pray as a family and wait and see where the Lord takes us. It takes a lot of trust to do that and I have managed that fine....now. Everything works out how it should by God's grace and plans not by me ochestrating it....yeah! My other baby is going to be a junior in the fall. A few years I will be by myself. Or I pray I will have been blessed with a good christain husband. Christain's are perfect but I want someone who has the same faith base as me and we can grow together. Being a christain doesn't mean we have everything perfect. I mess up alot and so do other christain's I know. being a christain means that I know I have God with me and I can call on Him and He is with me. he forgives my sins and teaches me to be better human being. Focus is on Him not me. That makes me less selfish, not totally unselfish but less. I am still human and have bad moments and pain and tears and trials but I am not alone. Thank God for that. I am very thankful that my childern know that already too. That's it for now. I thought I should update and that is what is going on in my little world. Current Mood: thankful Current Music: Joel Engle/ Chrstain Contemporary (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 23rd, 2004
10:49 am	shooter I don't know if you have heard it nationally but near EuClaire (sp)there was a guy on private property. He was perched in someones deer stand. He killed 6 people and injured one other. The sixth one died this morning. He had some kind of automatic rifle....not used for deer hunting! That is such a terrible thing that has happened. I can't believe someone is that cold to think about how they would commit this crime. I will be glad when I am in heaven! Current Mood: confused (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, November 22nd, 2004
11:35 am	ex husband My ex had to go to Texas and get his van. Him and his wife went to Mexico to visit his new wife's family in July. He told our daughters and me that his van broke down so he had to fly home. Last Wednesday him and the wife went down to get the van and drove it back home. He saw my daughter last night. he tells her that the van wasn't broken. It was impounded because he had tried to bring one of his wife's famly members over the border....illegally! I can't believe it! Thank you Marcie for my new picture. Marc, what do you think about the NBA brawl? I don't know alot about it but it sounds like all the players involved were diciplined. One player is out of all 73 games! WOW!!!! I have to go to the doctor next week. It seems I have the symptoms of pre menopause....yuck! I feel like I am falling ap[art and I just turned 40 a month ago. Watch out Marc!!!! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, November 19th, 2004
9:37 am	stress test I was off yesterday so I wasn't able to write. My stress test went fine. there was four people in the room. I wasn't to thrilled to show off my breasts for all of them but I got over it. The test it self was fine. It was really cool to see my heart beating on the ultrasound. They said everything is fine. I think I am just too fat and it is affecting my breathing. I was done about 40 pounds before with weight watchers and then I slowly gained it all back. I need to lose the weight to feel better and to have my diabetes bet better. If I lost a hundred pounds I would not have to be a medicine. You would think that would make me have will power. I start out everyday with good intention and then it goes to the wayside. God fills the emptiness in me but my old habits are still there. I have been overweight since I was 5. I know with God's help I can do this but my selfishness for the love of food over takes me and that is so wrong! I want to take good care of the body God gave me. Being off yesterday I got a lot of cleaning done. Then I spent time with my oldest daughter. We went shopping. We went to this scrap book store and got stuff for her scrapbook she is making of her Senior year in highschool. It is a really cool place because you can buy the supplies then they have a room with long tables you can go ahead and work on the scrapbook. They also have machines to cut out letters and objects all for free. Hello my new friends. Current Mood: good (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 17th, 2004
8:26 am	more life Today I have to have a stress test. On November 2 I had quite a bit of pain in my arm and then shortness of breath. I work at a hospital so that was convenient for me to go to the er. They took good care of me. The dr was very nice. I had a male nurse. He was very caring....and cute. They got me out in enough time to go vote! I made it with 8 minutes to spare. I really felt it was important to vote. I can't understand why people don't vote. My children were dying to vote. My oldest will be 18 next month and some of her friends were able to vote but not her. I am glad my kids understand the importance of voting. I learned that from my grandfather. He came to America when he was 52 with his family from Amsterdam. He worked hard here and had a home and knew the importance of voting and being an American. I am glad to be journaling. I have a prayer journal too. It keeps me focused when I pray and then I can look back and see answers to prayer which is really cool. I feel a freedom here which is nice to be able to say what you want. Current Mood: grateful (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 16th, 2004
11:36 am	life this is my very first entry. about me....recently divorced, 2 daughters, living at mom's house. through all of this though my faith has gotten stronger. i see that God is with me always in every situation. i know He has plans for my life. i have an awesome job that i got right efore my husband left. truely a blessing. He has provded for me and my daughters totally. i remember when my husband first left i had went my pastor. he said God would be a husband to me and a father to my children. that has totally happened. God is with me all times. He comforts me, loves me, heals me, provides for me. i am not scared fo anything anymore. i know where i will go when i die. i was scared to be alone but i am never alone. i was always a believer but not like i am now. i wouldn't read the bible or pray only when i needed too for something. now i pray all the time. i am in converstaion with him always. i hunger for His words. i read the bible all the time. my day goes better always when i put Him first. it took me awhile to realize that. i stopped putting ME first and put God first. this world is full of people just wanting to be first and center of attention...what is going on that you need that fullfillment? it doens't last, but when you put God first everything else is good. i have thankful heart. i am with my mom and we have gotten closer..... much! my children get to see their grandma more. my daughters walking in faith is awesome. to see them worship and have a loving caring heart is truly a blessing form God. i miss my husband but God will take care of me until i marry again. God has given me a loving heart for my ex husband. i am able to pray for him and his new wife. it is amazing what God can do with our hearts to make them loving and not prideful and vindictive. it has taken me a while to become like this. i was very hurt when he left and scared. not anymore. "God is my strength and my shield. My heart trusts in Him and I am helped. I will give thanks to Him in song." Psalm 28:7 Bottom line: My life is a gift from God. I want to serve Him and do the things that please Him. I want to be lost in Him not in my self. Current Mood: peaceful (2 Comments |Comment on this)